Handle this, handle that, forget what it does to your soul.

I told myself that I could handle this today.  I promised myself I would at least try.  And I did, try.  I can't say I'm handling things well at all, because.. to be truthful.. I'm not.  But I'm trying.  Do I really believe I'm strong enough to get past this whatever-it-is?  Now that's the million dollar question, isn't it?

Forget it.  The whole idea of just "enduring" life is ridiculous and not something anyone should try on purpose.  I don't think anyone does, you know, do that on purpose.  Most of us are catapulted directly at the bullseye of defeat by forces we can't possibly overcome much less stop.  Some give in.  Some give up.  Some are caught between the two.  And me.. I've no freaking idea where I am in this mess.  I just know I don't like it here.  And why should anyone have to be where their soul, spirit fades beneath the gray?

Know when to get out while your spirit still has its wings.

Facebook Should Change its Name to "MemeBook."

I've shared my opinion of Facebook before.  It's no secret that I find most of the so-called interaction there more than just a little shallow.  Now before you get upset, notice I said MOST.  I understand not everyone is a meme junky, and I do know some people who actually do post thoughts, beliefs, experiences, and even what's happening in their lives.  As for me, I honestly grow very bored of the constant stream of memes and re-shared videos and wish people would choose to be REAL there, rather than reactive.

I love animals--absolutely have a soft heart for them.  So when people share funny and cute animal pics and vids I'm all for it.  I also love it when my favorite rescue groups share info.  I don't mind the occasional recipe or news article.  It's not like I want Facebook to just be another Twitter.  But the reason I prefer Twitter to FB is because people actually talk to one another, share a lot more than just making announcements about nothing in particular.

Another thing that can sometimes be annoying is when people post a sea of memes and videos, then out of the blue go on a complete tirade about someone else, or even about themselves.  And hey, I have NO problem with people who go off about something when most of their posts are literally bits and pieces of their lives, their dreams, goals, rants, etc.  But when someone is a 'Memer' and suddenly blasts another person for sharing something real, or blasts another for just being real, I have a huge problem with that.  And once someone does this---it's on!

Look, I love memes... they're fun, and they can get a message across with a flare.  I LOVE memes, especially the funny and sarcastic/rude ones. ;p  But memes aren't my form of communication.  I actually have a mind and voice.  To me, if one is using only memes to communicate what they think, feel, believe, etc... it mostly just comes across like they're fluent in Ransom Note.  Seriously.  My choice is to avoid that if I can... to not communicate in that way.

To each his/her own.  It's okay if you like memes.  It's not my place to tell anyone what to do or not do.  I'm simply making a point about Facebook, because I've grown disenchanted with the site and what it inspires most people to do.  Well, bored is another word I could use to describe how I feel about FB these days.

If you like memes--meme away!  I like them, too, a lot.  But I try to keep in-check how much I rely on memes to actually communicate.  It just seems like common sense to me.

Now, one thing I would suggest is to research what memes are and where the word 'meme' comes from!  I've done this and found the results... very very interesting.  Oh, and memes just aren't little pictures with words on them.  I don't want to give anything away, so if you have time... look up the history and uses of memes.. and learn when they're NOT a good thing. ;)

The O-M-G of L-I-F-E.

My brain isn't work very well today, as there seems to be a possible drug reaction of some kind going on.  Being ON prednisone, or coming OFF prednisone, or even the addition or accumulation of another medication in my system, something else entirely going on; no matter the cause, it MUST be addressed.  Soon.

After calling the after-hours number for my liver specialist I now have an early morning appointment tomorrow to see him to address whatever is going on.  Swelling in my face has progressed to my eyes, and with everything I am I know this isn't normal, not even for Prednisone, which is notorious for causing facial 'roundness' etc.  This is way more than that, causing headache, muscle stiffness, and a few other undesirable symptoms.  I have a very good specialist, btw, and I know he is doing everything he can to help me with the AIH and any drug side effects etc.  I totally trust him as a doctor.

Over the last few days I've had to go back to bed at least twice a day.  It's not like I don't resist the urge and try to keep busy, because I do put it off as long as possible.  Yet there ultimately comes a time when I can't fight the weakness etc. and have to lay down.  It sucks, it really really sucks, but when I reach that point there is absolutely no option.  I'm hoping my appointment tomorrow will shed some light and find a resolution to whatever is going on so I can begin to feel better again.

I would also like to not have the "OMG what now?" thing as a constant, daily occurrence.  I would like to not have my day sliced into tiny sections where I'm just trying to get from one little portion of my day to the next and wondering how I'll manage to keep going.  Relaxing isn't even relaxing anymore, because within a few moments of sitting or laying down I realize that there's nothing at all that is ever comfortable, and all becomes painful at some point.  I mean, WTF?

LIFE is a four-letter word.

Random Thoughts at 3am: Why Do Potatoes Have to Be So Difficult?

No, this entry isn't REALLY about potatoes, though I do find them a tasty pain in the ass most of the time.  As random thoughts go, it would be nice if they would come with useful information.  Yep, that would be very nice.  But NOOOOOoooooo.  We can't have anything USEFUL show up out of the blue in our heads at 3am, now CAN we?  Ugh.

Many times I end up with insomnia due to FB drama.  In fact, I don't really spend all that much time on FB anymore because of one particular person, someone who is ALWAYS and UNENDINGLY (redundant, I know) on the opposite side of the fence when it comes to 99.5% of everything I think, talk about, post.  And he just can't seem to help himself and vomits about 10 comments to whatever it is I post about.  Now, to me, this just seems like a complete waste of time on his part.  If you don't agree with my point of view, beliefs, etc., then MOVE THE HELL ALONG, please and thank you!  Such a simple concept really---don't crap on someone's post just because you don't agree with them.

I don't mind NOT being on FB so much, actually.  It's been my experience that some people have very little self-control when it comes to FB drama.  Sometimes it's overt and in-your-face, which is what this one person does, and sometimes it's extremely passive-aggressive, which is really the worst kind of all but the easiest to ignore.  I've known this person and his wife for many years and frequent their place of business, so it's not like I can tell him to piss off or just block him.  It's a bit more complicated than that.  What I have been doing is completely ignoring his comments.  Yeah, I'm sure he's smug and feeling all proud of himself for 'having the last word,' but that's because he doesn't realize he's being ignored. lol  Kind of funny when you think about it.

In order to keep the stress and anxiety down I spend very little time on FB, as I've said.  I do have to go there because I'm an admin/mod on one of my son's groups.  Other than that the have-to visits to FB I've also taken to posting there---just to needle Mr. Negativity. lol  What I post is still relevant, and what I post are things I would post anyway, but honestly.... it's just a bonus that it needles Mr. Man enough to make him freak out. ;p  Some people are just too easy.

A better hang-out for me is Twitter.  Memes are few and far between and used for emphasis to their topic or statement.  Seems these days, on FB anyway, that memes just get splattered all over the page, replacing any actual thought or discussion.  Memes and videos.  I guess it wouldn't be so bad if people would SAY something other than "lol" or "lmao" in relation to the meme or video they post.  But as it currently stands... it just looks like very few people on FB have much to say.  At least on Twitter you learn quickly to make your post/tweet information-dense and on-point.  A lot seems to get said with very few words, and I have NO complaints about that.

I'm all spewed out at the moment... laters, taters! ;p