The Art of ASSumption & the Most Powerful Thing to Be...

I spent the last 1/2 hour or so talking on the phone to a friend of mine, who also has a blog as well, and we talked about life, health, girl stuff, and so on.  During the course of the conversation, and as the conversation settled into more meaningful, deeper topics... we both came to the realization that scrutiny is good, and ASSumption is bad.  Okay.  Sounds silly when you put it like that, but why confuse the issue with pretty words?

Somewhere between acquiring information and implementing reason something can go very, very awry, and the consequences aren't anything to write home about.  So why do people fall prey to the rather weak lure of assumption when the truth is often, though not always, fairly interesting?  G and I concluded that we definitely are in the middle of a dung-pile of thrill-seekers who can't handle being removed from the most caustic drama available.  And when it's not available... they set about constructing the facade that will most assist them in their endeavor to be shocked, appalled, thrilled, and mortified.  How crazy is that?  Well, maybe it's not crazy at all.

Humans thrive on drama.  Whether you have drama in your life or not, and it doesn't matter who's fault the drama is, people just can't seem to help themselves when said drama isn't up to par for their taste.  It takes talent, G and I agree on this, and we believe that in all seriousness people hone and perfect this skill that is not at all unlike mental heroin.  Once people try it.. they can't do without it, and when their 'stash' of drama runs low, or it's just not doing it anymore for them, they have to enhance it somehow.

Right before G and I hung up so we could, you know, blog about it (grin)... we both thought there was, in so many ways, a certain kind of power with being honest with blogging AND life.  When you realize your advantage, when it finally hits you that you're actually in a position power... the anger against having ASSumption being projected on you... that's the moment you win.

The most powerful thing to be, hands-down, is underestimated.

Now, this isn't anything new.  I've known this, as most do, my whole life.  Or at least fairly early on at some point... usually in childhood.  Even if we don't recognize it right off deep in our gut we know.  The first time someone doesn't believe us when we're telling the truth--realization sets in.  And either then, or later on in life, at some point in time... you understand fully that the moment people don't give you credit for having intelligence is the moment they relinquish their own power.. to you.

People who don't respect you try, even subconsciously, to discredit you.  This is a very strong form of underestimation of you as a person.  This means they underestimate you, therefore, can't predict what you will say, do, or think at any moment in any situation.  The mistrust they infuse doesn't move beyond themselves and, therefore... they weaken their own ability to 'keep up.'  My question in all of this is.. "Why on earth would they deliberately assume the position of weakness?"  Well, that's something only those people can answer.

I can be amused by all of this easily.  However, as G and I agreed, there's a certain element of pity that comes into play when you realize that when people choose to inject ASSumption into truth that their lives must become terribly distorted as a result.  How can anyone find anything good if the distortion becomes a barrier to actual communication?

At this moment I can visualize G blogging away frantically---excited to know she's not as powerless as she once thought.  It was a good conversation.

Off to re-post on my other blogs, then to read G's blog...

What a weird freaking day.

DNA RESULTS! OMG!! THE SHOCKING TRUTH!

So I did one of those DNA test things where you find out what the hell you are exactly.  And, as suspected: 70% Great Britain, 17% Ireland, 4% Italy/Greece, 3% Europe East, 2% Iberian Peninsula.

I won't go into the 'trace' nationalities because the margin of error can mean it may or may not apply.

One thing is for CERTAIN though---I'm probably the whitest chick you know!  lmao! So in honor of that, I give you this! ;p

Friday Lost Meaning.

Fridays, when you're unable to work or do anything, when you're house-bound by illness (even if temporary) loses its meaning and becomes yet just another day of the week.  It's true.  I'm not exactly sure when Fridays actually meant anything to me, to tell you the truth, and I'm not exactly sure how to make Fridays (or weekends) special again.  Ah, who cares, right?

Yeah, that's kind of where I am today, muddling over the broken artifacts of a life I used to live.

Blah.  Damn prednisone.

Laugher is about the only thing that gets me from point A to point B from one day to the next, and if I can't make Fridays special, I can at least make them funny.  Right?

Yeah.  That's what I'm telling myself today. ;p

Random Thoughts at 3am: Why Do Potatoes Have to Be So Difficult?

No, this entry isn't REALLY about potatoes, though I do find them a tasty pain in the ass most of the time.  As random thoughts go, it would be nice if they would come with useful information.  Yep, that would be very nice.  But NOOOOOoooooo.  We can't have anything USEFUL show up out of the blue in our heads at 3am, now CAN we?  Ugh.

Many times I end up with insomnia due to FB drama.  In fact, I don't really spend all that much time on FB anymore because of one particular person, someone who is ALWAYS and UNENDINGLY (redundant, I know) on the opposite side of the fence when it comes to 99.5% of everything I think, talk about, post.  And he just can't seem to help himself and vomits about 10 comments to whatever it is I post about.  Now, to me, this just seems like a complete waste of time on his part.  If you don't agree with my point of view, beliefs, etc., then MOVE THE HELL ALONG, please and thank you!  Such a simple concept really---don't crap on someone's post just because you don't agree with them.

I don't mind NOT being on FB so much, actually.  It's been my experience that some people have very little self-control when it comes to FB drama.  Sometimes it's overt and in-your-face, which is what this one person does, and sometimes it's extremely passive-aggressive, which is really the worst kind of all but the easiest to ignore.  I've known this person and his wife for many years and frequent their place of business, so it's not like I can tell him to piss off or just block him.  It's a bit more complicated than that.  What I have been doing is completely ignoring his comments.  Yeah, I'm sure he's smug and feeling all proud of himself for 'having the last word,' but that's because he doesn't realize he's being ignored. lol  Kind of funny when you think about it.

In order to keep the stress and anxiety down I spend very little time on FB, as I've said.  I do have to go there because I'm an admin/mod on one of my son's groups.  Other than that the have-to visits to FB I've also taken to posting there---just to needle Mr. Negativity. lol  What I post is still relevant, and what I post are things I would post anyway, but honestly.... it's just a bonus that it needles Mr. Man enough to make him freak out. ;p  Some people are just too easy.

A better hang-out for me is Twitter.  Memes are few and far between and used for emphasis to their topic or statement.  Seems these days, on FB anyway, that memes just get splattered all over the page, replacing any actual thought or discussion.  Memes and videos.  I guess it wouldn't be so bad if people would SAY something other than "lol" or "lmao" in relation to the meme or video they post.  But as it currently stands... it just looks like very few people on FB have much to say.  At least on Twitter you learn quickly to make your post/tweet information-dense and on-point.  A lot seems to get said with very few words, and I have NO complaints about that.

I'm all spewed out at the moment... laters, taters! ;p

Random Thoughts at 3am

Random Thoughts at 3am: "I wonder if I'd look good in a sombrero?"

Yeah, well... if you're waiting for me to explain that one, you're gonna be waiting a LOOOOONG time. lol  It's an insomnia thing.

About that hat thing---yeah... NO!

Still, one has to wonder where these random thoughts come from.  Me?.. I'm not sure I want to know...

As it stands right now, I'm going to resist the urge to buy a sombrero and take a selfie.

Adios!

Hello?

Disclaimer: In any of my blogs, especially this one, I'm not always going to post things that resonate with everyone.  Kind of a 'duh' statement, but I feel it needs to be said anyway.  Nothing I write here is meant to be everyone's truth---it's just MY truth.  I don't expect anyone to agree with me and feel the world is a far more interesting place because people have their own views, likes, dislikes, tastes, opinions, etc.  This blog was created for those times when I have to work through things that aren't making much sense to me.  I'm just allowing myself to let it 'all hang out' in order to find my way through the muddle in hopes that, in the end, I'll find some clarity and help others along the way.

FIRSTLY, do realize my sense of humor can be odd, eccentric, strange, and a little 'smart-assy' at times.  ;)

Okay, getting on with it then...

As the waiting game continues with my health insurance company, I'm left wondering if this other health problem will ever be addressed.  At what point to I give up, or at what point does push come to shove?  Either way, my hands are tied because the ultimate authority here is the insurance company themselves, and the only answer they seem to have is 'no.'  But that's NOT what this entry is about...

Across the board, all the actions, reactions, inactions, and infractions are a complex and chaotic mess of being on a corticosteroid and trying to live with the side effects, while simultaneously dealing with life's everyday nuisances.  Who does this make me these days?

I'm still me, always will be me, and I'm not apologizing for that.  Yet I still find the need to assess what I'm doing from day to day just the same, because keeping tabs on my thoughts and behavior is key to keeping some semblance of peace in my situation at the moment.  Do I handle things well right now, the stressors, the anxiety, the depression?  Nope!  But then, this entry isn't about that either...

So what the hell is my point?  Okay, I'll be blunt here---the point is that my tolerance for difficult people has waned considerably under the weight of all that is 'my life' right now.  I mean, yes.. I do have some tolerance, but it's not to the self-damaging degree that it once was in the past.  I mean, if I didn't LEARN something from my past experiences then I'm in BIG BIG trouble.  Thankfully, I'll be okay in that respect, because I consider that the lessons learned had and have an enormous impact on me.

Remember my mentioning that I need to turn my focus on healing?  That message has been quite a common theme in most of the entries lately, though I've refrained from telling details--again; so sorry about that.  Either way, in many respects I'm doing both you AND me a favor by NOT going to in-depth here all of the time.  Still, a part of me says I should.  What do I do with that information?

I need to turn things around.  My thinking, my approach, all of it has to work together in order to affect change.  It takes work, people.  WORK.  If you think you've found an easy way to affect change, my guess is that disappointment is over the horizon, the same horizon where you see the silver lining and believe it's just 'there' and ready to be stepped into.  Using that analogy, think about this: At what point does anyone ever reach the horizon?  No one does, nor does anyone walk right into a rainbow.  The closer you think you get, the further away it seems.

It really does take work to affect change.

Okay, so if you're thinking I sound negative right now, well.. maybe that's true.  I guess the realist in me is chomping at the bit to face things head-on, as unappealing as it may be.  If things aren't perfect or pretty or wonderful or amazing, then they're not.  Identifying and acknowledging WHAT IS gives you the tools to bring about WHAT YOU WANT.  If you don't know the house is on fire, you can't put that fire out.  Seriously.

For the record... I haven't EVEN begun to address what needs addressing... yeah, and this is the reason this blog has the title it does. ;p

Carry on...

Back on Track: Let the Spewings Commence

Now that I've gotten a few things off my chest today (lol), I can take some time to be randomly random.  Ha! I guess I'm just not feeling right today and am going with where this off-feeling takes me.  Why not?  It's not like I have a big day planned or anything.

Okay, so to tell you the truth I'm fighting the urge to go lay down and take a nap.  Naps in my case are a VERY bad idea, because it just invites insomnia come nighttime, something that I have to deal with even with very little sleep.  And guess what happens when someone loses a lot of sleep on a regular, ongoing basis?  For starters, your perception of things become a bit warped.  Yeah.  It's true.  I mean, sleep deprivation is one of the seven altered states.

At the moment things feel completely 'off' to me.  I'll eventually go watch tv, because it's a fabulous distraction when I need one, but I won't say I'm looking forward to it.  Why?  Well, because I have things to do, and it just feels wrong to sit there staring at the tv set when I could be doing something that would make my day more productive.  That is, IF my body would ALLOW me to do something, anything at all but be in a sitting or reclining position; something I'm not particularly fond of, btw.

So this is how it looks when my brain is as tired as my body.  No, really.  It is.  Coherent thought goes right down the toilet, and in its place comes the ramblings of an extremely tired mind.  While on one hand it's frustrating for me to not get my point across, to not know where the hell I'm going with any of this, on the other hand.. it's funny as hell.  Well, I'll look back on this post on a good day, snicker a little, shake my head, and laugh at the attempt to make some sense. ;p

And this, in effect, dear friends.. is the crap I spew. haha.  Hey, if I can laugh about the bad days, then I really think I've got a good chance of surviving the weirdness after all.

...more spewings to come...when my brain is back on board again. ;)

For those who've left comments here.... THANK YOU!

So it seems comment notifications haven't been working in a VERY long time, so if you've left comments and I didn't reply please know it's because I didn't realize anyone had left any.  Blogger seems to have fixed this.. for now.

I appreciate everyone's feedback, more than I can find words to describe really.  I guess, with the exception of those I know 'in person,' or those who contact me via social networking or email, etc., I often wonder if I'm just shouting or whispering into the wind here.

It was my hope that sharing my own experiences would help others, or make people laugh, or think... well, then it's all well worth it, especially with regards to "This Free Spirit," which was created to help work my way to a healing place post-abuse and hoping to help others along the way know they're not alone.

So again, if you've left comments on any of the entries on any of the blogs and I haven't respond.. I will.  And hopefully Blogger's notification system re comments will continue to work!

Blessings and thanks to all of you...

If you've wandered here FIRST...

You may not know that I have other blogs.  Look on the menu bar on the right and you'll find the links.  Blogs are created and organized (for lack of a better word) for content.  I tried, really tried to put everything in ONE place.  OMG, what a freaking mess that was.  So organization was the only way to maintain something that remotely appeared as, well, 'sanity.'  Sanity is overrated, btw.

Anyway, there's going to be a few random entries here and there today as I get my bearings and prepare to spew away. *snort*  I know where I'm going with this, and I'm prepared... are you? ;p

In the meantime, if you're curious, you can read the other blogs.

Yeah... this is going to take a minute....

Growing Pains or Just Losing My Mind?

24 hours after creating yet another blog.. OMG, that's like 5 now!.. I'm sitting here questioning my sanity.  Which I shouldn't, because I pride myself on being a little cray. ;p  In some respects having multiple blogs with multiple purposes is like having a big house with each room having it's own theme.  Or.. so this is how I justify it to myself anyway. Ha!

I can't promise it's going to be VASTLY different from any of the others, but I do want to take a lot of liberties here just the same.  All political-correctness can be checked at the door, thank you very much.

I'm also having some difficulty with the design here (who freaking cares?!?), so it's bound to change. A lot.  A LOT...

Okay... off to pretty this little panic room up!

;p

The Crap I Spew

Okay, so here it is, the one and only place where I really will say just about anything that comes to mind.  It won't matter if I'm completely full of shit, it's going to be about as raw as it gets.  I honestly do need an outlet for the crazy, goofy, oddball, eccentric side of me.  You know, that part very few people get or WANT to get.

Here, in THIS place, is the one place where PC may just get kicked on it's pearly little butt.

Hold onto your false teeth, Ethyl... this could be one helluva ride. ;p