The Cocoon of SAFE, Mindless Prattle

I'm irritated at the moment.  I'm irritated because I'm not handling things very well right now.  I get that the message I'm given is that it's very difficult to handle stress when you're on prednisone, that the body's usual defense mechanisms simply aren't in place anymore.  I hear what I'm told, I get what I'm told, but I DON'T LIKE WHAT I'M TOLD.  Yeah, yeah.. go cry me a river, right? ;p

Okay, so I wonder how much I'm going to be pushed by my own body in order to see just how much I can take and maintain my sanity?  When will the insurance company FINALLY approve the medication I need to take care of a serious situation that is wreaking havoc on my body and my life?  It's been over a month now.  OVER a month, and I still can't get the medication approved.  This country, because of Obama, has gone right to hell.  It really has.  And this is only ONE of the ways it's gone downhill.

At any rate, I seem to swing between being completely angry one moment about this, to feeling utterly abandoned in the next.  I don't know HOW to feel about anything anymore, and as long as I have to deal with the symptoms I'm not going to be the most rational or patient of people; it's been going on for too long and I'm flipping tired.

Making demands on me--this is really what I'm getting at.  I need to heal, and while the AIH is being addressed it's simply not enough.  You can't just ignore some things, and this thing I'm dealing with is something that will not allow me the luxury of pretending it's not there, happening, and ruining my life at the moment.  And no, I'm not being melodramatic here.  It's the truth.

Now, I will admit one of the biggest mistakes I've been making is spending WAY too much time on social media.  My bright idea was to avoid watching too much tv, and in doing that I've replaced tv with reading political articles, reading and getting caught up in tweets on Twitter, watching the disconnected posts flow through my FB feed.  I can admit that's a dumb thing for me to do.  And what can I do instead?...

Well, I know what I should do, so it's not a matter of ignorance but rather bad choices.  I'm aware.  Instead of getting caught up in all the political hot-headedness or trying to amuse myself with funny pictures and such... and we all know this is the bulk of FB posts these days... I should be turning my focus on what I normally do, and that is to seek information on how to make the best of what I'm dealing with, finding new ways to see my situation, and read more about what others do in the same.  While I have sought information and such, I guess I've found it's not helped me as much as I'd hoped. Maybe that's why I'm distracting myself with all of the other crap.

I need to take about 20 paces back from FB, from Twitter, and from reading all the political crap out there.  Yes, I want to be informed as these elections coming are VERY important, but there's so much hate and nastiness in what people say these days that I find it hard to read and maintain a good, happy, frame of mind.  So that's one thing that I need to change.

Another thing is to avoid people on FB who seem to make it their life's mission to comment with negative crap on my posts.  I mean, damn... grow up.  If you don't like my point of view, disagree with me, etc... then just move along to the next post in the feed and ignore mine!  It's not THAT hard to do, is it?  And I know one person in particular is doing it.. because he can.  He doesn't try it in person, which I find rather amusing, but he gets down right offensive and rude when he's hiding behind his computer.  I normally just shrug it off and roll my eyes when he does this, but lately he's taken to insulting some of my friends in the military, including veterans, and that's where I draw the line.  At any rate, this is the sort of thing that happens when you post anything of actual substance on social media.  Here's a fact: People aren't really interested in what you think, feel, or believe.  What people are actually interested in is cocooning themselves in SAFE, mindless prattle that means nothing.

And yes, this is relatively isolated to one particular person, so that makes things easy for me in terms of what to block him from.  Honestly, I'm not sure that FB allows that anymore, blocking certain people from particular posts.  Either way, enough of the BS on FB.  If I find a way to block him from my posts.. it's done.. ACCESS DENIED!

Now that I got THAT off my chest...

Back on Track: Let the Spewings Commence

Now that I've gotten a few things off my chest today (lol), I can take some time to be randomly random.  Ha! I guess I'm just not feeling right today and am going with where this off-feeling takes me.  Why not?  It's not like I have a big day planned or anything.

Okay, so to tell you the truth I'm fighting the urge to go lay down and take a nap.  Naps in my case are a VERY bad idea, because it just invites insomnia come nighttime, something that I have to deal with even with very little sleep.  And guess what happens when someone loses a lot of sleep on a regular, ongoing basis?  For starters, your perception of things become a bit warped.  Yeah.  It's true.  I mean, sleep deprivation is one of the seven altered states.

At the moment things feel completely 'off' to me.  I'll eventually go watch tv, because it's a fabulous distraction when I need one, but I won't say I'm looking forward to it.  Why?  Well, because I have things to do, and it just feels wrong to sit there staring at the tv set when I could be doing something that would make my day more productive.  That is, IF my body would ALLOW me to do something, anything at all but be in a sitting or reclining position; something I'm not particularly fond of, btw.

So this is how it looks when my brain is as tired as my body.  No, really.  It is.  Coherent thought goes right down the toilet, and in its place comes the ramblings of an extremely tired mind.  While on one hand it's frustrating for me to not get my point across, to not know where the hell I'm going with any of this, on the other hand.. it's funny as hell.  Well, I'll look back on this post on a good day, snicker a little, shake my head, and laugh at the attempt to make some sense. ;p

And this, in effect, dear friends.. is the crap I spew. haha.  Hey, if I can laugh about the bad days, then I really think I've got a good chance of surviving the weirdness after all.

...more spewings to come...when my brain is back on board again. ;)

It Begins the Same Every Day

....And it ends pretty much the same way.  Predictability to this degree is less than optimal for a full life.  Maybe that sounds a bit over-the-top, but it's the truth just the same.  And let's be clear here, I'm not speaking of the predictability that's needed in most important circumstances, but the kind that you recognize and expect because of history.  If you have a predictable outcome, what's the incentive to do anything any differently?

My attempts to affect change have fallen short of anything I would ever dare call success.  When problems or difficulty arises and the outcome is always the same, redirecting my approach to the issue just makes perfect sense.  Let's try something different; this is what I tell myself, and it's what I do, and somehow it still seems to make little to no difference whatsoever.  So then, what's the solution?

Maybe it's time I implement a little indifference myself, invoke the goddess ignora as it were and use my resources, whatever they may be at the time, to implement the change I want in my life.  Yeah, sure.. I know that sounds like the better place to have started, but there's this little thing called 'communication' that always seems to get in the way.

Will it FEEL different if I do something new?

Has it to-date, you know, FELT different?  No.  Not really.  And why would it matter what something FEELS like?  Because FEELING is everything.  FEELING is what stops us, encourages us, demands, suggests, and invokes an action or reaction to any inner or outside stimulus.  Get your mind out of the gutter. ;)  In all seriousness, unless you're a complete sociopath who feels nothing at all, this should make sense.

Okay, so what is it I FEEL then?  Anxiety.  Mild anger.  Disappointment.  Bewilderment, and... wait.  Is this what I'm really referring to when I say FEELING?  Maybe not, because that list is really more the EFFECTS of those feelings than the actual feelings themselves.  Well damn... that just got complicated, didn't it?

So what I'm basically dealing with here is changing MY behavior and the way I look at things so as not to have to constantly fight for what's right, or to be heard, or to even be respected.  Respect will still be a HUGE deal for me, of course, because that's part of what and who I am.  But I'm not going to allow disrespect to alter how I FEEL---as just one example.

I realized last night that I'm still in that place where I allow my health and my body to be torn down by the treatment of another towards me.  I can't keep doing that if I want to heal, to be healthy.  I just cannot allow that to continue.

The next step is... to break free of those chains that bind me, the ones I was shackled with as a child, carried into adulthood, and allowed to be manipulated by someone I'm with.

....I've got the 'what,' and now I need the 'how.'  That's at least something.

Not Okay, Cruz! NOT okay!

Thoughts and ramblings post-debate?  Well, I wasn't going to, but the behavior of a couple of those candidates last night ticked me off to no end, more specifically that meat-puppet Ted Cruz.  As if it weren't irritating enough to listen to his over-rehearsed comments and replies laden with what he obviously thought were 'effective pauses,' he added the stereotypical chopping hand movements that were, honestly, laughable.  He was a cliche from beginning to end.

But the worst part of it all was his continuing to bash New Yorkers.  I mean, REALLY?  Do you HONESTLY think that you can belittle and insult and entire state like that and still believe people see you as 'presidential'?  WHAT an IDIOT!  I'm not a New Yorker, but when he started with the NY crap... I was DONE listening to his mouth run.  By the end of that debate.. I couldn't STAND the sound of his voice.  He's a damn fool.

I honestly can't believe anyone would support that guy.  He isn't speaking from the heart, and he's OWNED by super pacs, who pay him lavishly to be their puppet.  And look like a puppet he did, too. I don't think I'll ever get those choppy hand movements out of my mind.  In fact, it reminds me of that AT&T commercial....  Thing is, this fake politician looks more genuine than Cruz ever will be, and for good reason.  There's NOTHING genuine about Ted Cruz AT ALL!

Human Experiment No.1: Why liberals bug the crap out of me.

I'm not a liberal.  I USED to be, or thought I was anyway.  But basically it all just rather boiled down to my not really understanding the position I was taking while subscribing to that... whateveritis.  And yeah, I did get it eventually, once I was able to sit and talk with someone who not only made calm, perfect sense, but helped me understand a few things and did so in a way that wasn't insulting.

In the past, when a conservative friend or family member tried to sway me on the issue, most of the time they failed epically, because to be honest.. I simply stop hearing people when they hurl (haha not a typo) insults directly at me as a person.  I mean, really?  Who honestly think that works?  Well, I'm here to say.. it doesn't.

Fast-forward to present-day...

Now, I'm not saying either side is perfect, because I've met some SERIOUSLY hateful conservatives in my day.  But within this election time I've been seeing some pretty nasty stuff from the left that reaches across the board; Meaning that it's a solid 100% thus far.  Why?

Who cares, really.  None of this has to have anything at all to do about elections and choosing candidates, etc.  Because we're talking about PEOPLE here.  People don't CHANGE during election times, they just begin to show their true colors and can't seem to reign it in very well.

Am I innocent in this?  HELL NO.  I'm honest, though, and I will admit that the liberal mindset isn't based on anything rational.  Yep, that's my opinion.  Doesn't mean I hate the person, but it does mean I hate their agendas and what they stand for.  But no worries, they pretty much hate me (a conservative) even more.  So I guess you can say it balances itself out.

My biggest problem these days with libs is that they love to perpetuate lies and spread them like some political venereal disease.  As for me, I practice safe voting and am not in any danger of contracting 'liberalism.'  It's all smoke and mirrors anyway, and the people standing with their hand out is going to find themselves still standing with their hand out because NONE of the people they think are going to give them "free" stuff aren't going to give them shit.

"Free stuff."  That old geezer Bernie Sanders, socialist whack-job, is one sad example of what liberals seem to gravitate towards.  He's like the cantankerous old fart who lives in the weird house at the end of the street, the one that scowls at people behind their backs.  He brings nothing but empty promises to the table, and those libs eat that stuff up.

Sorry Bernie, but I'm not 'feeling the Bern' and never will.

Wether on FB or Twitter, the liberal craziness is everywhere.  Sorry, but not sorry.. anyone who still thinks Barrack Hussein Obama is a good president, or even a good guy is completely off their rocker. Now, mind you.. I actually voted for him the first time.  Why?  Because I was in a terrible place in my life, very sick and with no health insurance, struggling to maintain my life with failing health and thought maybe, just maybe this guy was telling the truth.  Maybe, I thought, maybe I will get health insurance and get my life back.  Nope.  I was completely wrong.

I also had a friend at the time who basically sold me on Obama.  While the rational part of the US, the conservatives, were all saying no one knows anything about Obama and he was bad news.. I still didn't get it.  My friend worked tirelessly to win me over to his way of thinking.  My friend, btw, I rarely EVER talk to now since he got involved with the Occupy movement.  He completely slipped off the map when that happened, and he assimilated himself within a VERY crazy group of people, all who are about as 'militant' as it gets while screaming to the world that they're "tolerant."  Don't EVEN get me started on that.

I'm a Trump supporter.  I'm not going to go into all they why's and wherefores, because it would take too damn long.  I've watched DT's career for so long and know enough about his past, what he's done to help people throughout his life, and.. so much more.. that I know he's the right guy.  Not only that, but I'm ELATED he has opened people's eyes to the dangers of the PC mindset.  I like his bluntness and know that this is the way he's been throughout his career and that it's not an act.  This is really the way he is, and like so many conservatives out there... I LOVE that about him.  His books, past interviews from WAY back, are all consistent to how he thinks and what he believes, etc.  The man loves this country.  He used to be a democrat, and over the years has changed his view.  THIS is supposed to be a GOOD thing, yet the libs and liberal slanted media all tried to take him down about this one fact, a fact he didn't lie about or hide in the least.  I mean, what's wrong with people?  Well, Donald Trump isn't an establishment guy and that scares the living daylights out of the media (most), and terrifies libs because they think they won't get 'free' stuff anymore.

Oh, and btw.. there is no such thing as "free."  Someone pays, and it's the working class who does so. Whether you make a lot of money, or little money, if you're a millionaire or your income is in the middle-class range.. YOU are the one who pays for the so-called 'free stuff' that Sanders and Clinton (she's a damn criminal) promises.

Okay, enough about that.  My point is simple this: Liberals are rarely ever honest, rarely (if ever) do their own research to obtain facts before they go on the attack.  I have no respect for people like that, and I never ever will.

One last thing.. SO many libs have switched parties because of Donald Trump.  People are finally seeing the corruption from the left and aren't okay with it anymore.  There's more to their switch, but I'm not going to go into all of that.

So... how about that for stepping across the threshold?  I'm not afraid to talk about controversial topics, so put on your big girl/big boy panties and hang on!  Or don't wear any panties at all...

Premature Wad-Blowing on Simon's Part. At least he apologized!

You know, it's a little representative what Simon did.  Liberals have taken up the Simon mentality and have become the world's critics.  Claiming 'tolerance' they ejaculate their hate upon anyone, anywhere, and for the dumbest reasons.  Screw 'em.  Haters suck.  Maybe they need a little blue pill for their personality problems, because from where I'm sitting.. they all look flaccid, impotent, and bitter.

If you've wandered here FIRST...

You may not know that I have other blogs.  Look on the menu bar on the right and you'll find the links.  Blogs are created and organized (for lack of a better word) for content.  I tried, really tried to put everything in ONE place.  OMG, what a freaking mess that was.  So organization was the only way to maintain something that remotely appeared as, well, 'sanity.'  Sanity is overrated, btw.

Anyway, there's going to be a few random entries here and there today as I get my bearings and prepare to spew away. *snort*  I know where I'm going with this, and I'm prepared... are you? ;p

In the meantime, if you're curious, you can read the other blogs.

Yeah... this is going to take a minute....

Growing Pains or Just Losing My Mind?

24 hours after creating yet another blog.. OMG, that's like 5 now!.. I'm sitting here questioning my sanity.  Which I shouldn't, because I pride myself on being a little cray. ;p  In some respects having multiple blogs with multiple purposes is like having a big house with each room having it's own theme.  Or.. so this is how I justify it to myself anyway. Ha!

I can't promise it's going to be VASTLY different from any of the others, but I do want to take a lot of liberties here just the same.  All political-correctness can be checked at the door, thank you very much.

I'm also having some difficulty with the design here (who freaking cares?!?), so it's bound to change. A lot.  A LOT...

Okay... off to pretty this little panic room up!

;p

The Crap I Spew

Okay, so here it is, the one and only place where I really will say just about anything that comes to mind.  It won't matter if I'm completely full of shit, it's going to be about as raw as it gets.  I honestly do need an outlet for the crazy, goofy, oddball, eccentric side of me.  You know, that part very few people get or WANT to get.

Here, in THIS place, is the one place where PC may just get kicked on it's pearly little butt.

Hold onto your false teeth, Ethyl... this could be one helluva ride. ;p