Haunted emails.

The damage done when you're in a relationship with a malignant narcissist is far-reaching and poisonous.  I was warned by the therapist who helped me understand what I was dealing with and how to heal made that point very clear.  While I was certain that it would happen in a reasonable time frame, I was wrong, and the damage is, as she said, far-reaching and poisonous beyond anything I could have ever imagined.  Still, I find ways to deal and thank God for the blessings I have.

When asked the other day if I would share the emails and screen shots of text messages from my experience I wasn't quite sure if it were the right thing to do.  My friend, going through something VERY similar to what I had didn't mince words nor beat around the bush with her request.  So, that day while she was home alone... I forwarded her the email conversation, and I mean every bit of it.  Oh she knew some of what was in there because we had many a conversation WHILE I was in, and coming out of that relationship.  But she hadn't seen everything blow-by-blow, and when she did... she called me, angry beyond words.

I wasn't at all surprised at her response and was expecting no less, to be honest.

While I hung on as long as I could the people around me, friends and co-workers, couldn't help but witness some of what I was going through.  I eventually stopped calling him on my breaks at work and avoiding questions when they arose.  But there were a couple of people who were positively furious that I remained in that relationship and allowed what went on and made excuses for the other person.  Others could see clearly what I couldn't.  That is the nature of the beast.

Then the phone call.

She was upset, angry, emotional.  Why?  Because I'm her friend and she gives a shit that it happened to me, but mostly because she recognized her own circumstances (which is why I allowed her to read it all).

I kept the emails because I didn't want to forget the experience and why it was critical for me to get out.  I was very slow to come to terms with what I needed to do, what was HEALTHY for me, but eventually I got there.  Re-reading the emails with her over the phone (man, did she have a LOT of questions) wasn't pleasant.  But... I didn't get upset, and I believe that's because I am able to view the conversation outside of emotion or attachment to that person.  I can now see the truth that everyone else around me could see early on.  My hopes are that my friend will find herself in a place where she too can see the truth of her situation and make an informed decision for the betterment of her life.