Facebook Should Change its Name to "MemeBook."

I've shared my opinion of Facebook before.  It's no secret that I find most of the so-called interaction there more than just a little shallow.  Now before you get upset, notice I said MOST.  I understand not everyone is a meme junky, and I do know some people who actually do post thoughts, beliefs, experiences, and even what's happening in their lives.  As for me, I honestly grow very bored of the constant stream of memes and re-shared videos and wish people would choose to be REAL there, rather than reactive.

I love animals--absolutely have a soft heart for them.  So when people share funny and cute animal pics and vids I'm all for it.  I also love it when my favorite rescue groups share info.  I don't mind the occasional recipe or news article.  It's not like I want Facebook to just be another Twitter.  But the reason I prefer Twitter to FB is because people actually talk to one another, share a lot more than just making announcements about nothing in particular.

Another thing that can sometimes be annoying is when people post a sea of memes and videos, then out of the blue go on a complete tirade about someone else, or even about themselves.  And hey, I have NO problem with people who go off about something when most of their posts are literally bits and pieces of their lives, their dreams, goals, rants, etc.  But when someone is a 'Memer' and suddenly blasts another person for sharing something real, or blasts another for just being real, I have a huge problem with that.  And once someone does this---it's on!

Look, I love memes... they're fun, and they can get a message across with a flare.  I LOVE memes, especially the funny and sarcastic/rude ones. ;p  But memes aren't my form of communication.  I actually have a mind and voice.  To me, if one is using only memes to communicate what they think, feel, believe, etc... it mostly just comes across like they're fluent in Ransom Note.  Seriously.  My choice is to avoid that if I can... to not communicate in that way.

To each his/her own.  It's okay if you like memes.  It's not my place to tell anyone what to do or not do.  I'm simply making a point about Facebook, because I've grown disenchanted with the site and what it inspires most people to do.  Well, bored is another word I could use to describe how I feel about FB these days.

If you like memes--meme away!  I like them, too, a lot.  But I try to keep in-check how much I rely on memes to actually communicate.  It just seems like common sense to me.

Now, one thing I would suggest is to research what memes are and where the word 'meme' comes from!  I've done this and found the results... very very interesting.  Oh, and memes just aren't little pictures with words on them.  I don't want to give anything away, so if you have time... look up the history and uses of memes.. and learn when they're NOT a good thing. ;)

So if you read my latest entry in "Where Fireflies Dream," you know I'm all about spending my time wisely.  There's no way I'm squandering precious time on foolish things or people.  This is just a fact. When I have a good day I spend that day wisely, and since I don't really have 'good days' at this time it's imperative that I don't waste a second on BS.  And believe it or not, posting in my blogs isn't a waste of time.  I get to speak my heart, share my feelings or experience(s) or whatever; most of the time it really does help me through this difficult period of my life.

But I'm not going to re-visit the whole time issue here.

So okay, Donald Trump (whom I support!) won the NH primary!  I'm SUPER happy about that!  And last night, after the results were announced, I felt genuinely happy and excited, and I still am today.. despite the difficulties I'm experiencing with my health.  It doesn't matter, because at least one really good thing happened; I'll take it!

Okay...feeling like crap so am going to post in my other blogs and go chill for a while.

A Required Miracle.

Finding the strength to not crawl back in bed and disappear each day is becoming more difficult.  Finding anything at all to keep me going each day has become tiresome, monotonous, and a waste of time.  Yes, I realize this is depression talking.  Yes, I know my 'reality' is skewed by depression right now.  Yes, I know I have to not give up.  But is 'giving in' the same thing as 'giving up'?  I'm thinking... no, that it's something very different.  Aside from a miracle where I'm instantly transformed, where my LIFE is transformed, I'm carried with the current of 'what is' and left without the required miracle to turn my current life into something else other than what it is--a disaster.

Yesterday I was pretty shut-down, and today is no better.  Even as I sit here I want SO much to just crawl back in my bed, cover up, and completely disappear.  But disappearing comes with a hefty price, and that price is guilt.  Guilt because I feel like I'm not doing enough as it is and going back to bed, even if I am sick... just feels wrong.  Yeah, I realize that guilt shouldn't be a part of taking care of oneself, but it often is just the same.

I really can't stand feeling like this.  You've NO idea.

I want to feel good, energetic, hopeful, and I want to love my life again.  But how?  How in the world can I actually love THIS?

Crap.  Crap.  Crap.

*sigh*

The O-M-G of L-I-F-E.

My brain isn't work very well today, as there seems to be a possible drug reaction of some kind going on.  Being ON prednisone, or coming OFF prednisone, or even the addition or accumulation of another medication in my system, something else entirely going on; no matter the cause, it MUST be addressed.  Soon.

After calling the after-hours number for my liver specialist I now have an early morning appointment tomorrow to see him to address whatever is going on.  Swelling in my face has progressed to my eyes, and with everything I am I know this isn't normal, not even for Prednisone, which is notorious for causing facial 'roundness' etc.  This is way more than that, causing headache, muscle stiffness, and a few other undesirable symptoms.  I have a very good specialist, btw, and I know he is doing everything he can to help me with the AIH and any drug side effects etc.  I totally trust him as a doctor.

Over the last few days I've had to go back to bed at least twice a day.  It's not like I don't resist the urge and try to keep busy, because I do put it off as long as possible.  Yet there ultimately comes a time when I can't fight the weakness etc. and have to lay down.  It sucks, it really really sucks, but when I reach that point there is absolutely no option.  I'm hoping my appointment tomorrow will shed some light and find a resolution to whatever is going on so I can begin to feel better again.

I would also like to not have the "OMG what now?" thing as a constant, daily occurrence.  I would like to not have my day sliced into tiny sections where I'm just trying to get from one little portion of my day to the next and wondering how I'll manage to keep going.  Relaxing isn't even relaxing anymore, because within a few moments of sitting or laying down I realize that there's nothing at all that is ever comfortable, and all becomes painful at some point.  I mean, WTF?

LIFE is a four-letter word.