OMG WTF?

I don't like my dreams.  Sleeping has become a royal pain that I no longer look forward to or enjoy.  Stress, anxiety, worry, all of that seems into the very core of my being these days and blocks and distracts from anything even remotely normal.  Sleep deprivation isn't something I recommend.  Strange this is, even when I sleep... there's no respite from the bullshit.

Curiosity of the life 'outside' remains and ever-constant whisper to my soul.  I'm like the clear, still figure in a motion-blurred photograph.  Life happens around me, yet I'm really not much of a part of it these days.  Reaching for better, for more, for vibrance, for LIFE leaves much to be desired.  I SEE life happening but can't find my way to step out into the momentum and engage.  It's a damn mystery, I tell ya.  My only solace as I look for my way through this maze of confusing nothingness is the occasional spark of my sense of humor.