Smells Like BS.

If you've read my other blogs you can probably see me struggling to maintain emotional homeostasis.    I've only just decided to admit, again, that I'm depressed.  I'm not talking about the kind of depression that makes it so you can't function AT ALL, but the kind that knocks you on your ass as you wake up every day and try again and keep going, despite the obstacles.  I wake up and have one absolute goal, and that's to Persefuckingvere!  I mean, what else is there at this point?

I don't need people telling me everything's fine, I'll be okay, they 'understand' (when they absolutely don't).  I don't need canned platitudes and niceties, nor do I need anyone's silence either.  In fact, the silence is probably the greatest unkindness of all.  Wouldn't you agree?  I mean, silence is preferable than the standard BS people love to dish out, but it's harmful in its own way, believe me.

Social networking is fraught with a filtered indifference and disconnection of people, of humanity.  Why say a kind or supportive or compassionate word when you can just find the right meme... or say nothing at all while posting 30 more cat pictures?  Hey, I LOVE animals, have taken in rescues (my basset hound and last living ferret are rescues), but I still know how to maintain my human connections while still loving animals.  But something happens to people when they try to 'connect' through social media; we all see it, feel it, experience it on a daily basis on Facebook, and to a lesser degree on Twitter.

I've deactivated my original FB account a couple of years ago over relationship drama.  And I've since RE-activated that profile but haven't gone in to clean house in order to begin using it again.  I really need to do that, because it's going to be a lot like moving into a better neighborhood when I do.  WHY I ever allowed myself to be bullied to the extent of deactivating my FB account and creating another... isn't completely lost on me, though I wish I had stood my ground at the time.  Oh well.  That was then, this is now, and it's time.

In no way am I looking for 'meaningful connections' on Facebook, and here's why:

Experience has taught me that even the people you know IRL often fall prey to the disconnected mindset that comes with relying too much on social media networks to maintain a friendship or any kind of relationship.  Nowhere else is it more apparent who your friends REALLY are than in the realm of social media.  People don't have your back, ignore important posts and miss pretty much anything in your life that's going on that you find the courage to share.  For some, the drama postings are proliferate as they either rant and rave about someone or some situation, or they take the passive/aggressive approach with cryptic messages and memes.  I call BS on anyone who does this.

Either grow a pair and face me with what you have to say OR STHU already.

And people will post their cryptic messages knowing their 'supporters' will descend to comment and commiserate.  Boy, have I seen this in action before, and it's the main reason I deactivated my original FB account.  It was nauseating to see grown adults behaving like Jr. High school kids.  I was done with the drama, sick of the BS, and was finding myself with waning trust, respect, and love for the person who was doing this.  Even I can take only so much for so long.

Just hoping I will have the strength and energy today to update and 'move in' to my old profile again.